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                          如何在婚姻生活中改變對方的“壞習慣”?

                          來源:投稿 日期:2014-02-13 錄入:admin 閱讀:1次 我要評論

                            在婚姻生活中我們會發現對方和自己在在生活習慣上有很多不同,對方認為無傷大雅,而卻會讓我們很“不爽”。比如從臥室進入客廳后不隨手關燈,在客廳看書時會把腳放在茶幾上,進門換鞋后不會隨手擺在鞋架上……等等。

                            雖然都是些細節,平時可能就一笑而過;但是如果恰逢對方心情不好,可能會帶來爭吵,可是下次依然如故。

                            有沒有什么辦法可以有效的、快速的讓對方的改掉這些“壞習慣”?

                          如何在婚姻生活中改變對方的“壞習慣”?

                            人際交往或管理時,改變他人行為習慣,是一門學問,總結不過于“牛肉加大棒”的獎懲。而在婚姻生活中,要改變愛人的行為習慣主要靠溝通和引導。

                            溝通上輕重分寸自己把握,雞毛蒜皮的小事,別太當真了,說一兩句就算了,多說無益。

                            怎么引導呢?首先要學會分析和理解行為,然后才能引導行為。比如:“在客廳看書時會把腳放在茶幾上”這樣的情況,要思考是哪些客觀原因造成的。審視一下客廳是不是少了一個小腳蹬;或者沙發的位置、角度、舒適度、燈光方向是否欠妥;還有為什么會覺得在書房看書不如在客廳方便舒適等等。找到原因以后調整環境,行為就會自然而然的改變。比如,買一個合適又討喜的腳蹬,放在客廳里方便恰當的位置,專門用來看書的時候放腳。

                            在婚姻生活中,更重要的是包容。只要肯包容,“壞習慣”就會消失。

                            如果她(他)的某些小事每次都不做或用另外一種方式做,那可能是她(他)認為本就應該這樣;這是觀點的差異。要么你改變自己的想法,要么要她(他)改變她(他)的想法。

                            如果你很愛她(他),那先試著改變自己的想法吧。如果你自己扭不過來自己的想法,那就要體諒她(他),因為你也已經發現改變自己想法挺難的,那就不要再去難為她(他)了。

                            如果你認為這些是小事,她(他)順手就可以做掉了;那你就替她做(他)了吧,順手小事嘛。如果你做不到或者嫌麻煩,那就更不要怪她(他)和你一樣做不到或者嫌麻煩了。

                            如果你一直在替她(他)做一些你認為該做而她(他)沒有做的事情,和你一起生活的她(他),沒多久也會認識到的。她(他)會慢慢適應你的生活方式,其實你也會慢慢向她(他)改變,最終你們相互適應后,慢慢習慣了有她(他)的生活。所謂她(他)的“壞習慣”,其實就是你的“不習慣”而已。

                            總之,婚姻生活就是要將心比心相互體諒,真誠付出不計回報;因為你說過你愛她(他),而愛就是奉獻。

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